Change: Why Do We Always Assume it Will Be Bad?
I don’t like change.
For those of you who know me personally, this should come as no surprise.
I like swimming on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I prefer to get training sessions done in the morning before work. I’ve ridden the same bike for the past six years.
You get the picture.
I like my schedule and routine, because it’s predictable. I know what to expect, so that allows me to plan and prepare. I like using the same gear, because I know it works for me. If it isn’t broke, why fix it?
But if I’m being honest, it all boils down to one thing.
Control. We all like being in control. It makes us feel safe, like we can determine the outcome of events in our lives. Control is comfortable.
But change is inevitable, whether it’s in triathlon or everyday life. Sometimes, we purposefully decide to make a change and other times change happens to us.
This is where competing in triathlon has helped me, immensely. As an athlete, you have to get comfortable with change (or at least learn how to adapt and adjust when the unexpected is thrown your way).
🧠 Paid subscribers, scroll to the bottom of this post for the Rewire Your Brain for Change Toolkit
Change Confidence Quiz
10 Journal Prompts to Train Mental Flexibility
7-day Embrace Change Challenge
Loss Aversion Tips for Athletes
Why we fear change
Why is it we always assume change will be bad?
I mean, if you think about it, a positive result is equally as likely. Still, when faced with the prospect of change, most of us will envision the worst possible outcome.
I’ve experienced a lot of change this year.
New nutrition plan
New triathlon coach
New strength program
And in each situation, I experienced initial hesitation because I was unsure about what might happen. I worried about whether I’d still get sick with this new nutrition and whether a new bike position might cause pain.
It was the new that gave me pause.
In the past, I’ve completely changed sports, changed careers, and changed where I lived. In those situations, I made a change because it was desperately needed, and I looked forward to it. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t some underlying anxiety involved in the decision.
Change- whether intentional or unplanned, exciting or intimidating- can cause feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and fear. Even if the known isn’t all that great, we sometimes choose what’s comfortable over what might be better, simply because it’s unknown.
5 Reasons We Fear Change
1. Fear of the unknown
What’s known is comfortable and predictable, but the unknown can be terrifying.
Consider open water swimming. Most triathletes struggle with the idea of swimming in an ocean or lake, not necessarily because there’s a high risk of danger from sharks or alligators, but because you can’t see what’s underneath the water. It’s unknown.
In life, you might avoid making a change due to fear of the unknown. Studies have shown that people prefer predictable situations, even if uncertain ones offer a potentially better outcome.
This is because the human brain prioritizes survival and seeks predictability. The uncertainty that comes with change activates our “threat detection system,” so we avoid it at all costs.
Example (Triathlon): Bumping up in distance from Olympic to 70.3. Will you be able to handle the distance?
Example (Life): Starting a new job in a different industry.
Strategy: Use curiosity to reframe uncertainty. Instead of “What if it’s bad?” Ask, “What’s the best case scenario?” Or “What might I learn from this experience?”
2. Lack of control
This is a big one for me. I’d imagine it’s the same for most people. We like feeling in control of our lives. It’s why so many teenagers go through a rebellious stage where they don’t like being told what to do.
When faced with uncertainty, focus on what you can control instead of worrying about what you can’t.
For example, in the days leading up to a race, athletes constantly refresh their weather apps worrying about what the conditions might be on the day. This is a waste of time and mental energy.
Acknowledge that worrying about the weather isn’t going to change it. Instead, focus on what you can control: good quality sleep, preparation, mobility, and recovery.
Example (Triathlon): The swim gets cancelled.
Example (Life): Being laid off without warning.
Strategy: Control the controllables. Especially applicable in triathlon, but it applies to everyday life as well. For example, if you have new responsibilities at work, create a routine outlining your daily tasks (5 min. responding to emails, 30 min. working on a project, 10 min. doing research, ect.) to ground yourself.
3. Negativity bias
Many of us experience a negativity bias where we automatically assume the worst-case scenario is most likely, whether that’s true or not. This is because negative experiences often have a stronger psychological impact than positive ones. So, we’re more likely to remember the negative, even if it happens less often.
If you’ve ever had a bad race where you got nauseous, suffered cramps, or completely ran out of energy, it’s likely you remember the details of that experience better than the race when everything went great.
When I was the editor of a magazine, one critical email would sting more than the glowing praise from hundreds of positive messages. To combat this tendency, I created a folder in my email that I still have today.
It’s labeled “Compliments,” and any time I get a nice email or kind message about my work, I put it in that folder. Then, when I’m having a rough day, I can go back into that file and look at all the nice things people had to say.
Example (Triathlon): Last time you tried group rides, you couldn’t keep up and felt discouraged.
Example (Life): A past relationship ended badly, so you fear dating again.
Strategy: Acknowledge the experience, but separate then from now. Use the phrase: “This is a new situation, and I am not the same person.”
For every negative thought, come up with two positive alternatives. Then ask yourself if the negative outcome is actually more likely, or if you’re just catastrophizing- assuming that the worst-case scenario is a certainty.
4. Disruption of comfort zone
This can come with unexpected changes to your schedule or daily routine.
For example, we typically swim on our lunch break on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This past Monday, a thunderstorm closed down the pool when we were only 300 yards into a 3,000 yard workout. The only alternative was to come back after work and hope the storm would be gone so we could get the rest of our workout in.
It wasn’t a huge deal, but the unexpected change meant two hours of wasted time in an already busy day. Also, it wasn’t my usual routine, so things felt a bit off.
Example (Triathlon): You’re asked to train with a faster group. But it feels threatening, not exciting.
Example (Life): You resist a new gym or routine even though the old one isn’t working anymore.
Strategy: Small exposure eases discomfort. Try making a small, intentional change, like switching up your workout routine, taking a new route to work, or even trying a new lunch spot. This helps your brain realize that change isn’t always bad. It can be enjoyable!
5. Loss aversion
This happens when you’re more motivated to avoid loss rather than gain something even greater. It’s because the risks are perceived as more significant than the benefits.
Here’s a simple example: losing $100 feels worse than gaining $100.
Example (Triathlon): You worry about taking time off after a race because you might lose fitness.
Example (Life): You hesitate leaving a mediocre job you aren’t happy with, because of the security it offers.
Strategy: Write down what you might gain if you make a change. Try- “If I let go of A, I might get B.” Also, remember that not making a change is still a decision, and there is a cost to that as well.
July Expert Chat- Everything You Need to Know About Sweat Testing
One benefit of paid membership to the Triple Threat Life Club is access to our monthly expert chats with coaches, pro athletes, sport psychologists, and more. We’re excited to have one of Precision Fuel & Hydration “Sweat Scientists”- Lexi Kelson join us to talk about sweat testing.
The chat will take place Tuesday, July 22nd at 6:00 pm EST. If you attend live, you will have the opportunity to ask your own questions. If you can’t make it, a replay will be available for paid subscribers.
Paid subscribers: 🧠 Rewire Your Brain for Change Toolkit
10 Journal Prompts to Train Mental Flexibility
The Change Confidence Quiz
7-day Embrace Change Challenge
Loss Aversion Shift for Athletes